Relationship Skills for Couples Affected by Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

Living With An Aspergers Partner: eBook, Audio Instruction, and Couples Counseling

Living with an Aspergers Partner is a downloadable eBook designed to help couples who are experiencing relationship difficulties related to Aspergers (high-functioning autism).

Research reveals that the divorce rate for people with Aspergers is around 80%.  Why so high!?  The answer may be found in how the symptoms of Aspergers affect intimate relationships.

People with Aspergers often find it difficult to understand others and express themselves. They may seem to lose interest in people over time, appear aloof, and are often mistaken as self-centered, vain individuals.

A person with Aspergers may have trouble understanding the emotions of their partner, and the subtle messages that are sent by facial expression, eye contact and body language are often missed. Because of this, a person with Aspergers might be seen as egotistical, selfish or uncaring.

These are unfair labels, because people with Aspergers find it very difficult to understand other people's emotional states, and they are usually shocked, upset and remorseful when told their actions were hurtful or inappropriate!

Imagine a movie that begins with the following scene: A woman enters a bedroom, walks around in it, open a few drawers, and then leaves.

Most people could not witness this scene without thinking about the woman's behavior. For example, maybe she was looking for something she thought was in the bedroom ...or maybe she heard something in the bedroom and wanted to find out what made the noise ...or maybe, we might even imagine, she had intended to go into the kitchen and forgot where she was going.

All these explanations are based on our inferences about the woman's mental state. What we are attempting to do, in essence, is read her mind. Most of us engage in such mind-reading all the time. Without it, we would be "mindblind," unaware of other people's mental existence, of the existence of thoughts, emotions, intentions, knowledge and memories. We would be unable to make sense of the actions of others -- a terrible dilemma for members of a social category called “Aspies.”

Tragically, “mindblindness” is not a piece of science fiction. For people with Aspergers – a condition that often interferes with, among other things, the ability to develop normal human relationships – “mindblindness” is all too real.

Being involved in a successful romantic relationship can be difficult for anybody! Consider all the breakup self-help books available, the movies portraying cheating on a wife or husband, constant fighting and dramatic breakups, and your own relationship history. Do you think these difficulties increase or decrease for someone with Aspergers? Let’s just say that, for people who have Aspergers, it’s not easy to have a relationship while trying to function “normally” in the world.

Living with Aspergers is harder on the sufferers as they tackle their perfectionism and obsessive behavior, but it can also be a struggle for the people who are close to them. Living with the symptoms associated with the Aspergers condition can be emotionally draining on the sufferer and his/her partner. A person with Aspergers may find "empathy" a foreign emotion, causing the other partner to feel isolated and alone. For example, a woman in love with a man with Aspergers may interpret his difficulties with communication and socialization as a lack of interest in the relationship. He may vacillate between being gentle and caring to seeming cold and distant. She may find his behavior hard to understand, resulting in feelings of loneliness, isolation and confusion.

Testimonial: I have a wonderful marriage, but I still found so much valuable info in your ebook. Sometimes we get so caught up in what we think is "real" that we lose sight of the truth. Once again, thank you for these relationship techniques specific to the Aspergers condition. ~ Irene

Some common issues for people with an Aspergers spouse or partner include:
  • A sense of isolation, because the challenges of their relationship are different and not easily understood by others
  • After accepting that their partner's Aspergers won't get better, common emotions include guilt, despair and disappointment
  • Difficulties in accepting that their partner won't recover from Aspergers
  • Failure to have their own needs met by the relationship
  • Feeling overly responsible for their Aspergers partner
  • Frequent wondering about whether or not to end the relationship
  • Frustration, because problems in the relationship don't seem to improve despite great efforts
  • Lack of emotional support from family members and friends who don't fully understand or appreciate the extra strains placed on a relationship by Aspergers

One wife of an Aspergers man tells her story as follows:

"My husband, Jason, has been hard to live with. He can be charming and humorous, but he also tends to be callous, self-centered, and indifferent. When my children were small, I centered on them so Jason's indifference did not trouble me. But now that they are gone, he is truly driving me insane.

I met Jason when I was 17. He was good looking, brilliant and sincere -- and we fell in love fairly quickly. We were quite different from one another, but I believed that my strengths balanced his weaknesses. I was structured and, I admit, just a little bossy. Jason was the absent-minded professor type. He was studying for a degree in graphics, and at times would work the whole night, failing to eat or sleep. He was a lost puppy that I wanted to save.

We had been going out for two years when I found out I was pregnant. We got married. After Laura and Jeremy were born I stayed home until they were in school, then I went to work part-time at a nearby retail store. However, the children were always my top priority, and I centered virtually all of my energy on them.

Jason and I have been having problems since the children were small. He did not know the first thing about caring for kids -- not even how to use a thermometer! He never could deal with any noise or disarray. If the children did not put their toys away, he would throw a fit. He would go crazy if plans changed suddenly. Worst of all, he never really bonded with our kids.

One time, when Laura was in junior high school, she came home full of pride over a sketch of a boy's face she had drawn in art class. Rather than telling her how fantastic it was, Jason informed her that the proportions of the face were all wrong: ‘Laura, you have to learn the fundamentals of physiology. The head is divided into five parts.’  Who talks to a child that way?  She was in tears.

From time to time, the quirky Jason I fell deeply in love with resurfaced, such as when Jeremy was in a medical facility for 3 months with a broken leg. He was 15 then, and Jason was at his bedside every single day. He actually broke down and purchased the bicycle that Jeremy wanted and took a photo of it. He gave the picture to Jeremy to keep at the hospital as 'incentive to get well.' Initially I believed it was crazy -- the child was in a body cast!  But it proved helpful.

Mainly though, Jason seems to live in his own world. I look after everything from finances to maintenance tasks because he cannot be trusted to complete anything. He cannot even maintain employment. He is usually butting heads with employers and co-workers. Not surprising, really. Jason has never been able to cope with people. If we go to an evening meal with close friends, he will not even look at them. If anyone asks him a question, he starts off on an endless rant. I am working two jobs now, but he seems completely unconcerned about how exhausted I am.

Just as I arrived at the breaking point, an associate gave me some articles regarding Aspergers that blew me away. Those who have it are perfectly intelligent -- a number of them are in fact very talented -- but have difficulty conversing and bonding. Due to the way their brain develops, they cannot read interpersonal cues and frequently behave inappropriately or do not understand everyday conversation. The outline of the disorder matches Jason completely.

I'm not sure exactly where we go from here, though. If he does have Aspergers, it might explain his annoying habits. But will that make it any simpler to accept? You never know. Jason and I have a lengthy history. Deep down I realize we love one another. But unless something changes soon, I am going to lose my mind."   ~ Shannon T.

Are you experiencing relationship difficulties with your Aspergers partner?
Has separation or divorce crossed your mind?
Are the two of you already in the process of breaking up?

S T O P !

Don't make another decision until you read Living with an Aspergers Partner.

What reasons might make you want to stay together:
  • Change is something you find too difficult to face?
  • Divorce is against your religion?
  • For the children’s sake?
  • For safety and security reasons?
  • It would be too expensive to start over?
  • You are afraid of being alone?
  • You are concerned what others will think?

What if I told you it doesn't matter why you want to stay together – it only matters that you do. That's all it will take to make these strategies work …strategies that will not only save your relationship, but will make it better than it was before.

Emotions may be too raw right now for either of you to do what it takes to keep the relationship from steady decline. That’s why this step-by-step guide could be a real life-saver, because it will walk you through exactly what is required in order to change grow ...and to recover!

  • your arguments linger
  • you feel isolated, alone and confused
  • you can't seem to resolve anything with your partner
  • you feel like you are not being respected or heard by him/her
  • you are frustrated about how much effort you are putting into this relationship
  • you find that spending more time together just seems to make things worse
  • you want to fall in love with your partner again
  • you want your partner to fall in love with you again


Consider downloading your copy of Living with an Aspergers Partner. You’ve got nothing to lose since this program comes with an unconditional, money-back guarantee. In the unlikely event that the techniques do not significantly improve your relationship within 30 days or less, then simply email me for a prompt and complete refund.  Sound fair?

Testimonial: We really thought we had a hopeless case until we found your ebook. We had no idea that things could have worked out as they have. You have no idea the misery (and the expense) you saved us. We are not married and probably never will be. But our relationship is still very important because we have two children together. Thanks for helping us.  ~ Rhonda and Ryan

Testimonial: I stumbled across your website and must confess that it has been a great blessing to me for the last week. After reading through your straight-to-the-point ebook, I feel I am starting to find some meaning in my life again. Much of what you say requires that I honestly examine myself, and that is exactly what I am doing now.   ~ Joel

A word from Mark Hutten, M.A.
Dear Friend,

Why did you come to this site? Is your relationship in trouble? Were you hoping to find something here that would help you solve the problems and get things “back to normal” again? Or do you want your relationship to be even better than before – better than you ever thought possible?

Do you feel like the only choice is between (a) accepting things as they are now - no matter how bad they get, or (b) leaving your partner?

If you really want to save your relationship, then you have come to the right place. I created Living with an Aspergers Partner with YOU in mind (i.e., a partner affected by the Aspergers condition), so that you can get immensely satisfying results with your relationship FAST …even if you are experiencing severe communication barriers and you are the only one who wants to work on it!

Living with an Aspergers Partner is the most practical, easy-to-follow and comprehensive program available today for partners affected by the Aspergers condition. Thousands of people worldwide, just like you, have used these unique strategies to put themselves on the “relationship-rescue” fast-track, while regaining their inner happiness in the process. Will you be next?

Here are some of the areas we will cover in this eBook:
  1. Aspergers Diagnosis in Adults
  2. How to Get an Official Diagnosis
  3. How to Tell an Adult They May Have Aspergers
  4. Typical Adult Symptoms
  5. Sexuality Issues Related to Aspergers
  6. Dating Strategies
  7. Being a Partner
  8. Living with Aspergers
  9. Aspergers Men and Relationship Difficulties
  10. Aspergers Women and Relationship Difficulties
  11. Helping Yourself Through Times of Depression
  12. Dealing with Resentment
  13. Relationship Strategies for Aspergers Partners
  14. Love and Affection
  15. Traits Women Find Attractive in Aspergers Men
  16. Traits Men Find Attractive in Aspergers Women
  17. Aspergers Men and Emotions
  18. Being a Parent
  19. Parenting Strategies for Aspergers Fathers
  20. Parenting Strategies for Aspergers Mothers
  21. Strategies to Improve the Marriage
  22. How to Deal with an Aspergers Man
  23. How to Deal with an Aspergers Woman
  24. Aspergers Men and Empathy
  25. Fighting Fair with Your Aspergers Partner
  26. How to Avoid Divorce
  27. Treatment

You're about to learn simple, easy strategies to solve almost any relationship conflict associated with the Aspergers condition. Whether you are stressed out by your inability to communicate properly with your partner/spouse, want to improve your emotional/physical intimacy, need to resolve specific and complicated issues, or simply want to put your relationship/marriage back on the right track, then this eBook will be your best purchase of the year.

You may have tried numerous ineffective methods to “fix” or improve your relationship, without even knowing it. This isn't your fault. Many partners affected by Aspergers have searched far and wide for the right information that will improve their situation – but not all advice out there is "the right" advice.

Many people who are struggling in their relationships due to Aspergers-related issues have had advice from “expert” marriage counselors …they’ve tried their plans …they've spent a lot of money on their services …they may have even tried a trial separation …and now they're still looking for answers because all their hard work/time/money has done very little to improve their situation. They’re still stuck with the same old unresolved issues.

Why? Because most marriage counselors do not know the first thing about Aspergers or how it affects intimate relationships.

The hard truth is this: It would be a whole lot easier - and a lot less painful - to simply beat your head against a brick wall than to continue "working" on your relationship in the dark. I’m going on record as saying 'hard work on your relationship isn't the answer'.  As I'm sure you know, there is such a thing as "working hard" - and then there is "working smart."  Hard work has gotten you nowhere - and it never will.

If you are really truly tired of wasting time and energy trying to change your partner, then this information is going to be a break-through for you.  A solution is just 5 minutes away.

Before telling you what you'll find in Living with an Aspergers Partner, I want to tell you what this program is NOT about…

It's NOT about:
  1. Begging or pleading your partner to change his/her behavior
  2. Forcing your partner to understand where he/she went wrong
  3. Giving in to your partner's wants and demands

What it IS about:
  1. Finding effective ways to cope with a challenging disorder called Aspergers
  2. Supporting your partner in his/her goals and aspirations in a way where you grow together
  3. Ultimately learning to have a lot of fun and intimacy together again
  4. Understanding why people with Aspergers think, feel, and behave the way they do
  5. Getting your life as a whole back on track, outside of your relationship

Using the methods outlined in Living with an Aspergers Partner, hundreds of couples have bounced back from a vast range of seemingly irreversible problems, such as:
  • a suffocating partner
  • a distant partner
  • children issues
  • parenting issues
  • excessive fighting
  • extra-marital affairs
  • ineffective or not enough communication
  • lack of intimacy
  • not enough quality time for busy schedules
  • trial separations
  • unresolved conflicts
  • and many more complex and difficult situations

I strongly believe that with the right information, virtually anyone can have the relationship of their dreams.

Testimonial: I just finished 'Living with an Aspergers Partner' and it was outstanding. Short, straight to the point and very easy to understand. I will begin to implement the 'fair-fighting' strategies tonight.  ~ Kristi

Testimonial: Since I began reading “Living with an Aspergers Partner,” I am changed and I have also given my boyfriend some reading to do. He has also improved. Thanks so much for your advice and help! Our relationship has made some great breakthroughs and we are soon getting married!  After reading your ebook, we are now in love again and we do as much as we can to create quality time for one another.  ~ Jill

Testimonial: IF you are even THINKING about starting a divorce, you need to read this BEFORE you hire your attorney!!  ~ Elizabeth

What's the catch?

Well, you have to actually work the program! Most people who fail do so because they never take action …or they fear it is already too late …or they worry what their partner and others may think. They don't have the patience or desire to save their relationship. They either give up and settle for a miserable lackluster life, or they get a divorce. Like too many other couples who have struggled with Aspergers-related issues, they see the problems as simply "too big to fix."

If you really truly want a loving partner who will work with you as a team-player throughout your relationship, and if you want to be respected by your friends and your partner as someone who takes great care of his/her family, then there is no doubt in my mind this program will work for you.

Picture this:

It's a month from today, and your relationship is so strong that all your friends are remarking how happy you and your partner seem to be. You've recovered from the previous stress and disappointment that you went through, and you are in a much happier place than you are now. Even better, you know that it would take a team of wild horses to tear you and your partner apart now.

Now, stop and look back on today. Considering that you've resolved this major crisis in your life, and know that you will never be as stressed by it again in the future, what price tag would have made it a good investment?

Here are 5 good reasons to start working this program today:

1.   To date (July of 2011) over 3,000 couples have used the techniques outlined in Living with an Aspergers Partner to rescue their relationship. Now you have the opportunity to be next.

2.   From all my years of counseling couples affected by Aspergers, I’ve discovered this: If you don't make the decision to take action and get this area of your life sorted out right now, it’s not likely you'll do anything about it in the future. Do you really want to leave your relationship – and life in general – to chance? You owe it to yourself and to your partner to make an informed decision and to give your relationship the best possible chance of long-term success.

3.   In addition to the eBook, you will receive free email-based consultation to ensure that your specific relationship issues are resolved once and for all.  That’s right!  After you read the eBook, you can email me as often as needed, and I will help you trouble-shoot any problem-areas that still need to be addressed.

4.   With your instant money-back guarantee, there is literally NO RISK for you. If you aren't satisfied for ANY reason, or it doesn't live up to your expectations, just send me an email [] and I will refund your payment …right up to and including the final day of my 30-day guarantee.

5.   Within five minutes from now, you can gain instant download access and start saving your relationship! Inside Living with an Aspergers Partner, you will receive everything you need to know about (a) Aspergers in adults, (b) how it affects relationships, and (c) how to make adjustments accordingly that you and your partner can change, grow and recover – even if your partner doesn't want to work on it!

The Bottom Line—

I can - and will - help you, but you’re the one who will have to take some action.  I can’t do it for you!

The Aspergers couples I work with have tried very hard to address their relationship difficulties on their own, but with little or no success. And it seems the harder they try, the worse it gets.

They say they’ve tried everything to improve their relationship. But after a few sessions with me, they come to realize that they have not tried everything, rather they have tried some things.

There is no need for you to continue living as a frustrated, stressed-out partner/spouse. If you will read my eBook, and then email me for follow-up consultation (if needed), then you will achieve the same success as hundreds of others.

After years of living in a stressful and unsatisfying relationship, many partners feel so defeated that they believe nothing (nobody) will be able to help them – they think it’s simply “too late.”  But I promise you – it is NOT too late!!

No. I'm not a “miracle worker,” but you don't need a miracle to get your relationship on a good track – you simply need the right strategies that apply specifically to a condition called "Aspergers."

Take a step of faith. There's absolutely nothing to lose, but a lot to be potentially gained.

~ Mark Hutten, M.A.

About the Author

Mark Hutten, M.A. is the creator of Online Parent Support, LLC. He is a practicing counseling psychologist and parent-coach with more than 20 years’ experience. He has worked with hundreds of children, teens, adults and couples with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism (HFA), and presents workshops and runs training courses for families and professionals who deal with Aspergers and HFA. Also, Mark is a prolific author of articles and ebooks on the subject.

Contact Information
Online Parent Support, LLC
2328 N 200 E
Anderson, IN 46012
Phone: 765-810-3319

Purchase Living with an Aspergers Partner eBook for Only $19.00

Note: I've recently added a live audio
recording of the workshop I conduct on
Living With An Aspergers Partner,
which supplements the text in the eBook.

This program has a GUARANTEE, so there's absolutely NO WAY that you can lose!

If for any reason you are not thrilled and satisfied with your purchase,
just email me {} for a 100% prompt and courteous refund.

If you have any questions about Living with an Aspergers Partner,
or the Email Consultation service included in this program,
call {765-810-3319} or email {}.