Relationship Skills for Couples Affected by Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

More Testimonials

Hi Mark, Finding this book and your workshops has been an answer to many years of prayer. I am not sure if many people thank you for your work. But I will! I have started reading and am into the first 20 pages and I don’t think anybody could have put it any better in words. You nailed what I’m feeling and what I’m going through exactly. Reading so far is helping me understand myself, my husband and what I need to do/or understand to make this marriage work. Thank you so much for your heart to help people and your gift in doing so.  ~ Sylvana

__________

Thank you for the practical tips that I can really work on to be proactive in salvaging my relationship with my Aspergers husband. The true examples from real people gave me insight that you can really survive in an relationship like this.   ~ Gayle

__________

When I read that section on the stereotypes about Aspergers men, I didn't want to believe they were wrong.  I mean, these are the things I believed!  But the more I thought about it, the more it explained a lot of the problems I've had dealing with my husband. I wish I knew this stuff back when we first got married. Things would sure be a lot different today. Thanks for finally telling me how Aspies really think!   ~ Angie

__________

The “Living with an Aspergers Partner” ebook was very instrumental in helping my husband and myself understand each other by learning to communicate love words, to respect each other’s space, and to speak up when annoyed and not harbor anger. We were on the verge of divorce, thinking there was no way to repair the damage. Your ebook was a Godsend. After years of uncertainties, we are happy that we found your website and ebook. We worked it out and stayed together!!  We will celebrate our 16th anniversary this year!   ~ Kay and Michael

__________

As a Marriage and Family Therapist who works with couples, I have found "Living with an Aspergers Partner" a practical resource for helping my clients. Please continue to spread the word about Aspergers, because there are so many practicing clinicians out there that really should NOT be giving advice to their Aspergers clients. As I have discovered through reading your material, what works with a "typical" couple does NOT work with an "Aspergers" couple. Thanks for enlightening me.   ~ Rebecca

__________

The biggest benefit I have gained from “Living with an Aspergers Partner” was perspective. There were so many lessons about how to look at what was happening in my life from a different angle. I needed clarity and hope – and your ebook gave me that. Also, you email correspondence was priceless.  Thank you so much.   ~ Jason

__________

Just wanted to say thank you sooo much for the amazing advice in your ebook. Yesterday was that all important "date night" -- and it was absolutely fantastic... I just had an email from him saying what a great time he had and how he can't believe how fun it was to be together. Also back when we split up, your ebook picked me up out of the mud when I was feeling the worst I ever felt in my life, and doing all the things you advised gave me a lifeline -- now I am so much stronger and happier.  I'm still going to take things slowly with my ex (I'm not at the end of your plan yet!!) but I can't believe how well life is going only 1 month after I felt like I was half dead. Thank you so much.   ~ Kim

__________

Yes, I've learned a lot from this ebook. Thank you so much. I am saving every lesson so I can just read it all over again, probably with my husband. More power to you and God bless.   ~ Annette

__________

In my counseling practice, I've often seen couples affected by Asperger Syndrome who divorced because they didn't factor in the related issues and had very little working knowledge of the disorder and how it affects the marriage. Personally, I see this as a great tragedy since most of these marriages could have been saved. Thanks for enriching my understanding of this disorder and its impact on the family.   ~ Jonathon

__________

Your ebook was an eye-opener. I enjoyed how it was structured and presented. It gave me insight on where to begin and how to continue in my relationship with my Aspie husband. Thank you for listening and being there for me. Your email consultation was a guiding light during a very dark time in my life. Thanks Mark!   ~ Jeannette

__________

Just wanted to thank you and let you know how much you have helped me.  I followed your guide after a very bitter breakup of a two-year relationship with a man who has Aspergers.  The breakup started out being  one of the most difficult things I have ever attempted in my life, and after the initial two weeks I started feeling stronger each day and better about myself.  My ex sent me an apology email three weeks in ...By now, I had the strength to actually "sleep on it" and sent him a response the next day...within seconds he called me and asked to see me and was crying because he was glad I was talking to him.  We are starting out very slowly again as friends (which is difficult for me since I am still deeply  in love with him).  But I think that we can make it work this second time around because now I see that a lot of his behavior was due to his Aspergers disorder and had nothing to do with him being selfish or uncaring. Your information has given me new insight. Thank you.  ~ Tina

__________

My marriage is experiencing a tremendous transformation. I, on behalf of my wife, am very grateful to you Mark for helping us. Your follow-up emails were also a big factor in why I'm not divorced today.   ~ Richard

__________

I have spent countless dollars trying to get help and was sadly disappointed in all until now with you. Living with an Aspergers Partner has been a blessing to our family and we all thank you.   ~ Tracy and Keith

__________

Just wanted to let you know your advice is so rational and so sound... At such a horrible and tough time it is reassuring to read the correct way to relate to someone with Aspergers. A lot of people don't realize how simple and easy it is, patience is a virtue and because of you ... I am now dating the love of my life again, we were together for 4 years, split for only 2 1/2 months and are now back together.   ~ Katherine

__________

The fear I always have is that an ebook won't match up to the sales buzz created on the promotional site, but your guide certainly delivers the value that you promised. I scanned through it and was very impressed by how thoroughly you covered many topics that truly define the Aspergers man. I am working on myself now and preparing to make the necessary changes in my attitude and behavior so that my next relationship will not end like the previous one. I especially liked the 'Fair Fighting' section. Thanks a million.  ~ Dwayne

__________

I feel very lucky and blessed that we were able to turn our marriage around like this. My spouse with Aspergers used to spend as much time as he could in the garage. Now we are so in love again, and its funny ...now he had to go away for the week ...we have been talking on the phone every day. We can't wait to see each other again!   ~ Beth

__________

Just an email to personally thank you for the great advice in your ebook. Have to tell you that I was a bit skeptical at first, but now I truly understand how effective your advice is. I ordered your ebook when I was at the peak level of depression, and right now I am at the peak level of excitement about the future with my sweetheart. Cheers!   ~ Kayla

__________

I’ve never felt more in charge of my life. Right since the day I started reading your ebook till now it's been nothing but wonderful. My whole point of view about my Aspergers partner has changed. I haven't even used half your strategies and I am already seeing such an improvement in how we get along. Thank you very much for your support.   ~ Jackie

__________

I seriously thought there was no hope left for me and my wife. She wanted to get rid of me at all costs. I was in more pain than I can possibly describe. We both followed the advice in your ebook and Teresa and I are back again. Mark, you're a genius. Thank you for saving me.   ~ Shawn

__________

I wish I had read your book earlier. I could have saved so much time I wasted on dealing with the pain and emotions for years. Your relationship techniques really helped me deal with my partner with Asperger Syndrome. I finally understand how to relate to him now. Thanks a ton.   ~ Candice

__________

I feel as though my eyes are open for the first time. I had been attributing negative motives to my husband's behavior, for example: "he just doesn't care" ..."he's tired and bored with this relationship" ..."he just doesn't love me anymore" ...and so on.  But after reading your ebook, I see that these behaviors were not malicious in nature, it's just how he deals with the world. This tidbit of information alone has made such a big difference in how we relate. I appreciate your work.   ~ Sarah

__________

Having read your ebook, I now have a better understanding of AS and the situation I am in.  I have started to adjust myself and try to see things from his perspective.  I am also not as depressed as before, as I now understand that there is a reason for his "unreasonable" behaviour, and I try not to take it personally.  Our relationship has improved, there is less conflict between us and we have started talking to each other again.   ~ Bonnie

__________

Hi, Im also a clinician and found this so helpful for my practice!! I was dating someone with Aspergers and I thought I understood everything but he just could not commit and he would not go to counseling to understand how his relationships failed. Your audio instruction really turned the light on and I'm so happy that I bought it. Best $19.00 I ever spent.  ~ Anastasia

__________

Thanks for the information. I have an 11-year-old who has Aspergers. I now believe his father also has it. I believe he has learned over the years how to compensate for its manifestations. Unfortunately, we had filed for divorce before I read your ebook. It is such a difficult illness to handle with your child, but when it is your spouse, it is unbelievable the damage it can do to your relationship. In any event, your information is helping me deal with my child’s father, even though we are no longer married – there are still issues that I need help with. (Wish I had access to this info this time last year.)  ~ Marilynn

__________

My son was diagnosed with Aspergers when he was 5. He is now 8. My husband had been diagnosed with ADHD a few years before our son was born, but the ADHD meds never helped him. When I put my son on the GFCF (gluten-free, casein-free) diet, he made huge gains very quickly. So, my husband went GFCF as well. It actually helped my husband too. Later, my husband was diagnosed with Aspergers. I love both my boys, but I can't live this way any longer. I have lost myself inside interventions, compromises, and sacrifices. I need a husband to support all that I do for my son (biomedical, therapies, preschool, research, etc.), but he only models the very behaviors I am trying to replace. We are newly separated after a month that included the typical communication difficulties, a physical attack on me, and socially inappropriate behavior towards my grandmother. I am heartbroken because I know that, for my husband (not my son), this is a life sentence. I don't want to live the rest of my life depressed, embarrassed, and in a parent-child relationship. So, I’m going to give 'Living with an Aspergers Partner' a try. Thank you for this information. I trust it will help us all at some level.   ~ Virginia

__________

I am in love and married to a man with "Aspergers- like" characteristics (not sure if he actually has the disorder). We have a successful marriage and our lives are well. Occasionally, I will become emotionally exhausted, but this relates partially to my hormonal changes monthly and the fact I am getting older. Thanks to the guidance in your program, I now have limits, we are setting boundaries, and communicating mostly well. We have just had a wonderful turn around. Mainly because I realized I do not have to be right all the time and I do not need to be so defensive with everything. I am a physical medicine researcher and therapist and have experience working with autistic/adhd children. But these experiences did not help me to be more patient even though I understand the neurochemistry behind Aspergers. It wasn’t until I read your ebook that I started responding to my husband "the right way", which has made all the difference in the world in how we communicate. Your emails over the last several weeks have really been a support to me as well.   ~ Stephanie

__________

I am an NT and my husband has Aspergers. He was diagnosed at the age of 35 (last year). We have been married for 7 years. It's been a tough road, but one worth traveling. Traits of those on the Autism spectrum can be endearing. Your ebook has helped me to see the positives that I used to see in my husband, but lost sight of over the years; he has many more strengths than weaknesses – and I needed to be reminded of that. My husband is very loyal and trustworthy. He wants to be home and spend time with his family. He's socially "blind" and doesn't like chit chat. A conversation should have purpose, in his mind. He's the most determined man I know and I respect him with my whole being. I would rather have a strong, determined, loyal husband than one that can socialize at a dinner party. Maybe some have all of that ...count your blessings.   ~ Jenny

__________

Hi Mark - I'm an Aspergers husband who fits all the characteristics that you talk about. It was, unfortunately, destroying my marriage. I had no idea what to do about it though -- until now. You've given me some tools, and they are working. I'm not going to lie -- it has been very difficult to follow through with most of the suggestions in your book -- none of this comes natural to me -- but I am taking it one day at a time and am beginning to see my wife smile again. You've worked a miracle in my life. That's all I can say.   ~ Vaughn

__________

Dear Mark, Thank you so much for your clear, concise and extremely helpful information about Aspergers. We have been on the verge of a divorce the last few months after a 20 year marriage and your information has helped to clarify the fact that my husband may be contributing to our demise. He wants to blame me for 100%, but I feel like I am reacting to HIS personality and am getting more resentful as the years go on. I feel lonely and I feel like our home has been an emotional desert because of his lack of affection and affiliatory behavior that you talk about in your videos. It just wasn’t clear until I had your information but now I feel we have a goal to work on and can be better than ever.  ~ Shelly

__________

Thank you for writing this ebook. It gives such a clear understanding of my husband. I knew there was something different about him, but could not put my finger on it .When I was in nursing school, I remember studying Autism, but that was years ago . My husband and I dated for about a year before marrying. It's been 5 years now -- the most confusing 5 years of my life. I discovered your information on the internet, and then I realized what might be going on with us. The money I spent for this ebook was well worth every penny. My husband keeps telling me he is different. I don't know if he knows he has this disorder, but I will ask him to read your book. I know it will help us develop a better relationship. I was about to throw in the towel, but I believe there is hope for us now. Thank you.  ~ Annie

__________

Oh my gosh....thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!! I can not believe I stumbled upon your audio on Living With an Aspergers Partner! I cried...and cried some more! Thank you!!! I finally feel validated and if it's not too late I am going to try to help my marriage. We have been married just recently 27 years. I won't bore you with the history because you know it. My husband is definitely Aspergers. He did accept an ADD-inattention diagnosis after our 2nd child was diagnosed. Not because our first was diagnosed with a list of issues an arms length long (my husband was in denial over this for years until I finally relented and put the child on medications. My husband finally acknowledged the doctor's may not be crazy! Mind you we live in a major city with incredible resources and world renowned Children's Hospitals which I trust). When the 2nd child was diagnosed I suggested my husband be tested and he went ballistic and refused until he heard a Physician give a talk at the Intermediary Unit that was ADD and he completely identified with her and walked out white as a sheet. My oldest was diagnosed at age 6 with PDD-NOS. As time went on Aspergers was obvious, however, I did not need to get an updated diagnosis as he had the best services he could obtain already. I thought, why label. As he grew and aged I began seeing concerns, especially in romantic relationships (he is now almost 25) so I got my hands on a couple books to learn more about Aspergers and men in relationships and OF COURSE while I was highlighting like crazy, I realized I had put just as many yellow marks next to valid points that related to my husband as to my son! This was a light bulb moment for me but there would be no one who would ever care to accept that realization along with me, most especially my husband. Your audio sessions are textbook of my marriage. Including taking the thoughts right out my head when you mentioned the man who would deny an Aspergers diagnosis due to social norms and masculine role socialization! I am going to try to find a time...I don't know when, to see if I can get him to listen to the sessions. We have both threatened and almost resigned ourselves to divorce once our youngest goes to college in another year, however, that will be devastating for our three boys, the oldest especially, who is in law school and I just couldn't do that to him his last year. So anyway, if we can hold on...I accepted the status of this relationship in so many different stages, including the resentment light bulb moment about 20 years ago, and all the progressions in between. I am pretty certain I'd be far too exhausted, should we divorce, after dealing with this marriage and the three kids and all their baggage that I would never venture into another serious relationship, so may as well try to acclimate better to this one. Sorry for the rambling. Thank you for allowing me to email...it really helps. No counselor I have ever spoken to, nor any my husband ever attempted to work with (failing miserably at this since he can't emote and dig deep regarding anything!) has EVER understood where I was coming from. Made me really feel like a selfish brat. I have given every bit of myself, and then dug deeper when I couldn't any longer to help my family. I am exhausted... With my sincerest thanks!  ~ Miriam

__________

Dear Mr. Hutten, I must start by expressing my immense gratitude for all your work. Your articles, books, and videos have been a life saver and a motivator for me to try again to repair my marriage. I started googling and reading and I came across your youtube videos. What an eye opener!!! An understatement. I started to understand that everything I knew in my heart that wasn't right, had a name and a reason for it. Something beyond my capacity to change. I downloaded your Ebook on Living with an Aspergers partner. I am 40% through it and already see some improvements. Thank you!  ~ Dena


No comments:

Post a Comment